This one is fairly long...just letting you know off rip, but im just releasing so that's expected...right??? Lol let's go:


Wat's good? When I last talked to ya'll I was still going through some things and was having a rough time but I think that has all changed for the better. I've gotten rid of alot of unnecessary things/people/drama and I think it's all a part of my own evolution as a person. (Btw always remember to Evolve and don't Revolve) When you begin maturing, the things that you used to "feed off of" as a child or young adult don't really give you the edge that you once desired. Drama and people go out of style and not that I was EVER one for it, but I know that I would allow it. I feel like life has been so much better now that Im fully livin' for myself and not givin' a fuck about the next person. I am truly my mama's child. She has been solo dolo for years and she's happy! She can tell me she's happy and I know it's true. Me and her both believe in a saying. " Why should I be surrounded by people that constantly make me miserable or bring me down when I could be to myself and happy? " That's SO true though!! So through these months of being to myself I've learned how to be happy. I don't need anybody else to make me happy and true there will always be days that I would LIKE to have someone by my side, I now know that it should NEVER be a necessity to have someone. Now...I will admit. There are some females that I would love to be with because I see that they could really help me out with what I've been going through but I dont need to be in a relationship anytime soon. There's still so many things I need to build up inside myself and plus me and love got beef. If anything, I just need somebody that I know got my best interest and ain't tryin' 2 find different tactics of how to break me down. No sir. (#NowBumpin: Kings Of Leon-Use Somebody....HUGE CHEESE Lol) & Btw ShoutOuts 2 my homegirl Daffy (whether you know it or not) you done really really helped me out these past couple of months & Ur a blessing in disguise :)

Recently, I started back writing. Like REALLY writing..Im the type of person that'll write 5 0r 6 works in some hours and I haven't done that in months until recently and I blame it on my songwriting group member Nyine. ShoutOuts even though u probably won't ever peep this lol. She posted a piece called Lyrics and ever since then it rekindled my passion for this writing shit that I do. I noticed that I haven't been passionate about ALOT of my loves (writing, rapping, poetry, etc.) for awhile, but I guess when you're broken down so much...you lose sight as to why you do something. But I think I'm ready to get off my ass and start pumpin' out some more music to y'all. It's been TOO long since I've been to the studio and recorded. I miss that shit. Something about being behind a microphone and dividing your heart and soul to folks...can't be matched by ANYTHING. I've recently been getting alot of beats from different producers and ROCKING them. I will have plenty of new material by the end of this summer. If it's in the cards, mixtapes WILL be dropped!

Now what I want to talk about is school. Im getting to the point where school has become a repititive obstacle that I've been tackling for ALL these years. There aint nothin new about it that truly inspires me. I have recently been considering dropping out. Being that I'ma person that likes to start what I finish IF I can, I will probably tough it out, but I'm uncertain as to whether I want to further my education RIGHT now. I'll keep y'all updated on my decision as the months pass.

Last thing I want to talk about is me myself. I've not only been stressed, but I've been depressed. Depression is something that is in my family and I believe I have seasonal depression as well as situational depression. My seasonal depression kicks in around the winter time. I tend to be always down around that time. My situational depression seems like it's never ending. For those that don't know, situational depression is just depression that is associated with the events going on around someone & Him Above knows I go through my FAIR amount of events. I've lost a lot of weight due to this which is why Im sure I look paper thin to y'all. Along with my OWN version of "getting through things" AND this depression, I've gone from 175 lbs in January to 140 lbs in April. NOT GOOD. But like I said, my own road to recovery is a far journey, but I AM able to get through things.

Im through speakin' my mind so until next time, (THANX 4 YA ATTENTION & LOVE!)

Holla Back,
Black Noize